everyday brings new surprises or shocks. whatever you may choose to call it. depends on it being a negative or a positive thing. sometimes i think i should be clearer on what exactly i want. reading in between the lines isn't always the best thing to do. but it's my nature to assume the worst. it's always better to be prepared for the bad than unprepared. i really am being stupid here. and it's enough to kill me. i wish i can laugh at my stupidity but i can't. because i'm left holding all the broken pieces.

i hate trying but never succeeding. i hate putting in the effort and receiving nothing in return. i hate that whatever i do, to the best of my abilities, sometimes isn't enough. i hate that it comes easily to others but not to me. one day i'll stop trying.

and the windows that were wide open slammed shut.

still, they opened once in a while.

when the thing called hope flew in.

but it never stayed for long.